A Girl's Melancholy
by wara ningyo
Summary: Dream or no dream, it felt so real. Ayumi visits the two man who are involved with her love life. what is running through her mind? and what's Morita got to do with it? main theme- friendship.
1. Platonic Ayumi

_Disclaimer: I do not own Hachikuro. _

_The timeline for this story is taken when Nomiya came back from Tottori and before Mayama go to Spain. _

**Part 1: Platonic Ayumi**

Yamada Ayumi wakes up from her sleep in the middle of the night feeling lightheaded. Her sky blue eyes slowly open and stare at the ceiling. She didn't remember what time was it when she dozed off. The tears that fell on her pillow earlier had dried up.

Ayumi sits up on her bed facing outside the window. The moon is shining bright as if trying to cheer her broken heart. She shakes off the things that crowded her mind. Like it or not, she has to move on, but how can she forget about her first love? Technically it can't even be called love seeing that it was unrequited. She had him close although he doesn't belong to her but now Mayama is going away, Ayumi knows she has no power to stop him.

Ayumi move weakly off the bed. It appears as if she is about to shatter to pieces if she rush it. There is something wrong with her, she could feel it. Not only with her emotion but her physical as well. She looks down at her feet. To her surprise it is translucent.

"What the…!" She almost fainted when she discovers her new condition. Her hands, her body, her physique are all see through. "What happened to me?" she asked, half screaming. She turns around and caught a glimpse of a figure resting under the covers. It was hers. "Am I…dead?"

Ayumi lean over to check on her body. Her chest is moving up and down indicating that she is still breathing. She sigh in relieve. "At least I'm alive…am I?" she wasn't sure about it herself. It's unexplainable how she could be laying there in bed when she is standing next to it at the same time.

"Wake up, Ayu!" she tries to get herself conscious. It's no use. She penetrates through her own flesh. She rushes to the mirror to take a look at herself however; she was unable to look for her own reflection. "What am I going to do now?" Her tears started to pool up. What will happen if she couldn't get back into her body? "Okaasan! Otoosan!" She cried for her parents. No matter how loud she calls for them, they can't hear her.

Ayumi instantly thought of Hanamoto sensei. He might be able to help her since he's the wise one among her friends. A bright flash blurs her eyes and when she opens them, she realized that she's in the lecturer's apartment. "_Did I teleported here_?" She figures. "Cool." For a second, she thinks that her spirit being separated from her body is kind of interesting.

"Hmm…" Hanamoto sensei's only reaction to Ayumi's constant calling. She walked through his bedroom door and tried to get his attention. It seems that it's useless. The guy who's in his late thirties is drowned in his own dreams. "Hagu…" he mumbles in his sleep. Ayumi leaves the room. She gets it now that she can't communicate with them in her condition. They were unable to hear her or see her. Something crazy just crossed her mind. She is thinking of Mayama. He's leaving soon so she thought she should pay him a little private visit. Just then, the same blurry flash takes her to where he is.

Mayama is sleeping on his working desk. His glasses were beside him on the table. His light brown hair falls on his forehead melts her hearts. She remembered the time he gave her a piggy back ride home. Ayumi bend over and smell his hair. The scent is still the same like last time. "Ne Mayama, can't you just stay?" She ask even though she well aware that he couldn't hear her. Ayu rest her chin at the corner of the same table with her eyes locked on his serene face. It breaks her heart just by doing that. He looks so peaceful. She bets he's having a very pleasant dream.

"Ne Mayama…" she said again despite the fact that she will never get any reaction from the guy. "If I'm gone, what would you do?" Her eyes become teary. She wipes it away and smile. "Nothing I guess." She gives the answer herself. "I'm not that important." She stands up. Ayumi reaches out her hand to stroke Mayama's hair but pull it back shortly when it went through his head. "See, I can't even have you in this form."

The familiar bright light appears again. This time it took Ayumi to Fujiwara Design. The office lights are still on. She heard a very faint tapping sounds on the keyboard. Somebody is working late at night. She approaches closer to where the sound came from. A guy with caramel colored hair comes into her view. "Nomiya-san." The name escaped from her lips.

Nomiya lean back on his chair and light a cigarette. His eyes are fixed to the computer screen. "Nomiya-san, you shouldn't work too hard." The girl advised. He didn't hear her or course. Nomiya had just returned from Tottori a couple of days ago. He really cares about her, she knew that. He even confessed to her that he liked her when she paid him a visit there. Ayumi feels guilty. She felt as if she had betrayed her feelings towards Mayama at the same time being unfair to Nomiya who had been treating her nicely.

Nomiya put off his cigarette in the ashtray and continue with his work. His bangs are neatly clipped to the side with a red hairclip. Ayumi laugh to it. He looked really cute. Nomiya always make her feel nice and warm. Although sometimes his words are cruel and insensitive, Nomiya could easily find a way to cheer her up. "Arigato, Nomiya-san." Ayumi thanked him. "I've caused you so much trouble." A sigh exhaled from her mouth. She looks at him with a heavy heart. She wanted to return his love for her but she can't seem to erase Mayama from her head. "If I disappear, it would be easier for you."

Disappear. The word keeps playing in her mind over and over. If she disappears, Mayama won't feel guilty for not returning her love. If she is nowhere in sight, Nomiya will forget about her and move on. If she's gone from their lives, things would be easier. No more pain, no more sadness, no more chasing, no more waiting. No more HEARTBREAK.

Ayumi finds herself standing in the middle of the clover field. The wind blows her long silky straight hair. The white sleeping gown she was wearing waves with the flow of the breeze. The night is coming to the end in a couple of hours and a new day will be born. She drags her feet on the grass towards the river bank. "Maybe this is how it should be." She stares at the middle of the shallow river. It's not that deep but if she stays low, very low without trying to get up it might work.

"Ayu…" A voice calls her as she was about to set her foot into the cold water. Ayumi turns her slender body around to look at the owner of the familiar voice. There, at the exact same spot she was standing earlier is a tall man with soft black hair. He looked straight at her with a comforting smile.

"Morita!" She sounded surprised to see him there. "How…wait, can you see me?" She finds it hard to believe. Ayumi examine her hands, they are still translucent like before.

"It's past your bedtime little girl, you should go to bed."

"I'm not a little girl."

"Sure you are, Ayu. You're about to do something foolish." Morita sees right though her thoughts. "Adults don't act as such."

"Oh yeah? Being an adult is so painful."

"That what makes you strong." He said to her.

"I don't want Mayama and Nomiya-san to feel bad because of me."

"What do you think they would feel if you gone because of them?" Morita gives his remark. Ayumi turns silent. She doesn't know what she should say next. Morita is right. It won't change anything if she kills herself. It will only make matters worst than it already do. "Go back, Ayu. Before it's too late." Morita advises her.

"Ne Morita…"

"If you're gone, I would be sad too. We are friends, remember?" Morita cuts her words and gives her his straight answer. Ayumi was a little surprised and touched by him. Morita is the only support she had. He had his problems too, but he was there for her. As a friend, as a listener.

"Gomenasai." She apologizes. She didn't know what she was thinking. Morita walk up to her and give her a hug. Ayumi's body didn't go through him. She breaks from the embrace and wishes to be back where her body was. The light appears again and blears her view. She feels like her body floated through space waiting to be one again, waiting to have a sensation.


	2. Poisonous Appreciation

**Part 2: Poisonous Appreciation**

The sunlight reaches Ayumi's face. She raises her palm to block it from entering her eyes. "Ara…" The girl said the first word. Her body is back to normal. She's no longer transparent. "_Was it just a dream_?" She wonders after getting flashbacks about the trip she took last night. All that happened seems so real. It's clear in her head from Mayama's scent, sitting on the table while Nomiya is working and the warmth of Morita's embrace.

"_Whether it's real or not, I'm thankful to him_." She remembered how Morita stop her from doing something stupid. Ayumi smile and get up from her bed. She gets into the shower and freshens up. Later, she put on a black blouse with tiny white polka dots and a banana yellow knee length skirt. She let her hair down topping it up with a white head scarf. She put up a smile on her face ready to leave home to meet her friends. Most importantly, she had something special for a dear one.

Ayumi arrives at their usual meeting place, Hanamoto sensei's office with a big bento wrapped in a checkerboard scarf. "Ohayo!" she greeted Takemoto who is already there. "Where's Hanamoto sensei and Hagu-chan?" she ask when the two person is nowhere to be seen.

"Ohayo Yamada-san. Hanamoto sensei and Hagu-chan just went out to get breakfast." The younger college mate tells her.

"Hmm, that means I'm a little late." She mutters. "How about you Takemoto, have you take your breakfast?"

"Not yet. " He replies.

"Great! I made a special breakfast this morning, you can try some." Ayumi said enthusiastically. Takemoto's face turns green just by thinking about the possible ingredients inside Ayumi's bento.

"Umm, that was really nice of you but I..."

"Ohayo…" A voice echoes from the door. It was Mayama.

"Ohayo Mayama-san." Takemoto turns to him. "You come just in time. Yamada-san made breakfast, try a little." He gives Mayama a signal.

Mayama's eyes clouded with fear. Sweat trickles down his forehead. "I would love to, but I'm in a hurry." He makes up a quick excuse to escape from being poison by Ayumi's horrible cooking.

"Oh, that reminds me, I need to umm…change the light bulb!" Takemoto tries to save himself.

"Better get going Takemoto."

"You too, Mayama-san."

"Ano ne…" Ayumi crack her knuckles. She is well aware that the two guys are trying to run away. "I'm leaving, goodbye."

"Yamada…" Mayama step away from the door as Ayumi walks out. It was unexpected for her to leave without giving him a beating or two. She didn't even have a fierce expression like she always do when Mayama critics something about her.

The young lady walks out angrily leaving them alone. She knows that she's a terrible cook who always came up with absurd recipes such as chocolate curry, grapefruit fried rice and many more. She loves to cook but have no talent for it. "_Mayama to Takemoto no baka_..." Ayumi breathe out a heavy sigh. They hated the food she made, its not a secret to her. "_Why can't they just tell me that._" She feels disappointed. "_If they tell it to my face, I'll stop_. _All they have to do is tell me the truth then I won't be bothering them anymore_."

She leaves the college building and heads to Fujiwara Design. There is one person that can help her with something and that person is Miwako. "Hopefully she's not busy." She enters the elevator and pushes the button up.

Ayumi's long legs hesitate as she steps out from the elevator. "_Maybe this is not a good idea_."

"Yamada!" Ayumi jumps when her name is called. She turns around to see Nomiya is standing not very far holding paper sheets in his hands. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, hello. I made extra breakfast but everyone already had theirs. It would be a waste to throw it away so I brought it here."

Nomiya gulped. Somehow the bento that she is holding freaks the hell out of him. Although he really likes the girl, he's not that willing to bear the taste of her cooking.

Ayumi recognizes the look on his face. She can read it clearly and it was totally expected. She didn't wait for him to give his respond and walk inside the office looking for Miwako. She found her on the couch with Leader, the dog.

"Can you help me with something Miwako-san?" She asks immediately after she sat down beside the more senior lady friend. "Can you teach me how to make the red bean rice balls?"

"Sure, but why do you want to learn out of sudden?"

"I want to make some for someone special." She answers.

"Don't tell me you're making it for that no-good-pain-in-the-neck Mayama?" Nomiya who had been eavesdropping from the beginning interrupts the ladies. Ayumi blushed in embarrassment when he said it out loud. Thank goodness there are only a few people in the office.

"Its none of your business and no, its not for Mayama!"

"Hoo…I bet this person that made you go through all these troubles is a guy, am I right?" Miwako push the frame of her glasses up her nose bridge. "Alright, I'll teach you." She gets up from the chair.

"Really? Arigato Miwako-san." Ayumi thank her.

"Who's side are you on?" Nomiya objected.

"No offense, I think you're moving too slow and the girl has changed her mind."

………………………………………………………………

Ayumi returns to the college around noon. It really took her time to come up with a good looking and edible red bean rice balls similar to Miwako's. It is still imperfect. The shape is not attractive and each one is not in the same size like the others. Without wasting any time, she searches for the person she wanted to give it too. Looking for him is not easy until she spotted him taking a nap on a bench under a shadowy tree. There is a cat sleeping on his chest.

"Morita." She wakes him up.

"Hmm…" He twitches and opens one of his eyes to take a peek at the person who called his name. The first thing he saw was her smile. Morita pick the cat up and places it down on his lap as he sits up. Ayumi takes her seat after putting down the bento between them on the bench.

"I made something for you, but its nothing special."

"Oh, food. Thanks!" Morita vigorously unwrap the bento and begin to gobble up on the snacks.

"I made those this morning so it must have tasted awful." She felt bad of letting him eat the breakfast she made and also the rice balls she just learned from Miwako.

"Nyum, nyum…" He ignores her and continues on eating. Out of the sudden, he choked for eating so fast. Ayumi hurriedly hand over a water bottle for him to drink. Morita manages to swallow down the food enable him to breath. "Look Ayu, people might hate your cooking but that doesn't mean they hate you."

She stunned when she heard the words came out from him. Morita looked at her. He could guess that's what Ayumi was worrying about. "Morita…"

"You seriously need to learn how to be a better cook or no one would marry you." He teases her.

"Morita no baka!" She shoves down the whole rice ball into his mouth. Morita smacks his chest to prevent himself choking for the second time. Ayumi gets up and starts walking away. "Arigato, Morita." She paused then turns to him after she was a few steps away. She gives him a smile and leaves the guy alone to enjoy his brunch.

Morita finally able to ingest the food by drinking some water. He watches her walking across the yard. A smirk spread across his face. "I might not be able to help you Kaoru, but at least I managed to save that girl." He changes his view to the blue sky once the shadow of the sorrow girl is unseen.

**a/n: I am very unsatisfied by the way I'm writing this story . I'm well aware there are a lot of grammatical errors and the storyline is hard to understand because it was written in a rush. However, my main point here is to show the bond that Ayumi and Morita had. I think its very pure and selfless as well as very strong love in friendship. Hopefully I managed to bring that out. Please enjoy the story and give me positive feedbacks. I appreciate if its free from flames**.


End file.
